The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

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Xiomera
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The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Xiomera » Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:46 am

Televisions and internet devices throughout the IDU will be tuned to the X3 Network, Xiomera’s premier source for not-government-produced-but-still-government-approved programming. As the picture swoops over Tlālacuetztla, it soars over a large outdoor stadium, with a towering pyramid in the center of it surrounded by huge safety cushions. As the music builds to a dramatic crescendo, the announcer begins.

“ARE YOU READY? Because it’s time once again for the most popular show in Xiomeran history. For fifteen years now, people have come here, to Pyramid Stadium, to test their luck and see if they can win a life-changing prize: one million quetzals. And for the first time EVER, contestants from other lands will be trying their luck against the best Xiomera has to offer!”

The camera swoops down, to pan over a group of 12 people in climbing outfits emblazoned with their country’s flag standing on a stage next to the pyramid.

“Which of these twelve will have what it takes to leave Pyramid Stadium with the prize? They’re about to find out - and so will you! Because the time has come for them to take on.....the PYRAMID OF MISFORTUNE!”

The crowd in the stadium cheers wildly as the show’s host, Tohuitlnoch, jogs onto the stage. Tohuitlnoch, a former Xiomeran soldier and three-time Pyramid winner, is a huge fan favorite, as evidenced by the raucous crowd.

“Hello Xiomera and the world! Welcome to the sixteenth season of Pyramid of Misfortune! Today, we welcome a new crop of sacrifices - I mean, contestants! But we’re mixing it up for you, because the Pyramid should never be boring. For the first time, nations from all over the IDU have sent their best to compete with our best to see who’s really the best. It’s a showdown for the ages. Zamastan, Libertas Omnium Maximus, United New England, Eiria, Kerlile, Lauchenoiria and Kvask have all sent challengers to take on two Xiomerans. Will our Xiomeran contestants, Xiyāōtl and Tlachyāōtl, defend the nation’s honor and take home the prize?”

As the camera shows Xiyāōtl and Tlachyāōtl, standing with defiant looks on their faces, the Xiomeran audience cheers very loudly and shouts in Huenyan battle cries.

“Or, for the first time ever, will the one million quetzal prize and the title of Master of the Pyramid find its home in another country?”

As the camera pans over the other contestants, the crowd reacts differently. The Xiomeran audience cheers for the challengers from Kerlile and Kvask, politely but less lustily cheers for most of the other countries’ challengers, and boos noticeably for the ones from Zamastan and Lauchenoiria. A true sportsman, Tohuitlnoch takes exception to the booing.

“None of that booing! Everyone here on this stage is a winner - at least, until they lose!”

The crowd laughs and the booing dies down.

“So let’s quit wasting time! It’s time for our first four contestants to get CLIMBING!”

The crowd cheers even more loudly, ready for the fun to commence. The first four making their run up the Pyramid step forward, as their pictures and biographies flash across the screen.

“Our first four challengers, fans: Warren Jarrius, a private security contractor from Jade Harbor in Zamastan. After losing his wife in a tragic accident, he’s here seeking the prize for his kid! That’s a good cause if I ever heard one - give him a hand, everyone! Now our second challenger: Kyle Martins, from Burgundy in Libertas Omnium Maximus. He’s here to prove that even desk jockeys can be athletes - well, we’ll find out soon enough! Our third contestant: John Escalada, from Middlebury in United New England! He’s here because his brother and coach, James, dared him to take on the Pyramid. Well, John, be careful what you wish for! And the last contestant for Round 1: Alison Johnson, a top cop from New Riga in Eiria! She’s here because people underestimate her, and she’s ready to prove them wrong! Well, Alison, if you beat the Pyramid, you’ll shut them all up once and for all....but be warned. All of you...many have tried to beat the Pyramid, but let’s just say we haven’t had to pay out a lot of prizes the past fifteen years. So....good luck. You’ll need it!

Tohuitlnoch has each contestant led to their side of the Pyramid. All four of them line up; then, a horn sounds, and all four of them run to the Pyramid and begin climbing to the second level.

On Side 1, Jarrius begins making good progress, his security training serving him well. As he makes it to the top of the second level and tries to climb onto the ledge, a Pyramid Defender, clad in a costume resembling ancient Xiomeran battle garb, suddenly jumps up from behind the stone wall of the ledge and jabs at him with a foam tipped “spear”.

On Side 2, Martins is already scaling the ledge, his athleticism giving him an edge. However, just as he begins swinging over, he discovers the stone “railing” around the ledge is coated with a slippery oil. He begins to lose his grip.

On Side 3, Escalada has a bit more trouble; he hasn’t made the ledge yet when a Pyramid Defender emerges from a hidden window and throws a fake foam “snake” at his head.

On Side 4, Johnson’s martial-arts training suddenly becomes desirable; as she is preparing to scale the stone wall around the ledge and get to level 2, another Pyramid Defender emerges. Rather than swinging a fake spear, he tries the ancient method of just pushing her off the wall.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Democratic Republic Of Eiria » Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:12 am

(If Succeeds:) Alison gripped the wall firmly, bracing against the defender's shoves. Using a modified Judo throw, she grabbed one of his wrists with her free hand and used his momentum to throw him off the wall, and climbs to level 2.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Libertas Omnium Maximus » Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:55 am

(If Succeeds:) Martins dug his feet into the side of the ledge, reestablishing his grip on the ledge. Stabilized, he threw his left leg over the ledge and hoisted himself up from there.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Xiomera » Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:37 am

As Johnson grabs the Pyramid Defender’s wrist and yanks, he tries to plant his feet, but overcorrects and loses his balance. With a yell of dismay, he topples off the edge and makes the short fall to the safety cushion below. The crowd boos him as he bounces down the side of the safety mattress to the ground, his head hung in defeat. Tohuitlnoch doesn’t help matters, as he points at the hapless defender and yells, “Wow, you really stink at this! Don’t quit your day job....oh wait, this was your day job! Sucks to be you!” Johnson stands up on level two and raises her hands in a brief victory gesture, before looking up and realizing she still has nine levels to go.

The crowd suddenly gasps, people pointing to the side of the Pyramid where Martins is struggling. On his first attempt to throw his left leg over the ledge, it slips on the oil. Martins almost falls off the ledge, but manages just barely to regain his grip. On the second attempt to throw his leg over the ledge, he manages to get a firm grip. Martins hoists himself up to level two, as the crowd makes noises of disappointment that another person didn’t fall. Tohuitlnoch, who had been shouting “Fall! Fall! FALL!” as Martins struggled, shrugs and says “I mean, good job not falling!” He then turns to watch the other two contestants trying to get to level two.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by United New England » Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:08 pm

(If succeeds) As the foam snake flies at his face, Escalada opens his mouth wide. Feeling the snake hit his lips, he bites down hard. Good thing I won that contest against my friends to see who could fit the most gummy worms in their mouth, Escalada thinks. As soon as he has a secure footing, he ties the snake around his head like a ninja headband to keep the sweat out of his eyes. “Thanks for the gift, dude!” he shouts at the Defender.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Xiomera » Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:43 am

After Escalada dons the fake snake and yells out his thanks to the Pyramid Defender, he is greeted by a hand gesture that would be construed as rude in most countries and possibly obscene in a few. The Pyramid Defender who lobbed the snake, and then the hand gesture, then shouts in dismay as an unseen force inside the Pyramid launches him over the stone wall, to fall unceremoniously to the safety cushion below. Tohuitlnoch laughs uproariously, making a rude gesture of his own to the hapless defender.

The host then began eyeing the last side, chanting something ominous sounding in Huenyan as the final climber tries to get to the second level.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Zamastan » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:14 pm

(If Succeeds:) Jarrius stumbled backwards from the impact of the spear, but quickly composed himself and gripped the foam. Lurching himself forward, he stammered over the Defender, and pushed it to the side to edge himself over the stone wall. Sweating profusely, he could tell he was losing stamina. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Xiomera » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:47 pm

As Jarrius begins climbing over the Defender and trying to push his "spear" aside, the Defender tries to defeat the maneuver by jumping over the edge, intending to take Jarrius with him. Jarrius, with a desperation fueled by momentum, manages to escape the Defender's grasp and leaps over the wall to land safely on the ledge. Tohuitlnoch shakes his head, bemused and annoyed at the same time at how badly the Defenders are faring as the four contestants begin climbing to the next level.

On Side 1, Jarrius begins his ascent when one of the climbing holds suddenly gets retracted into the wall. Losing his grip, he dangles by one hand over the cushions below.

On Side 2, Martins is climbing well when the bricks underneath him begin moving. Rapidly sliding in and out of the wall, the disappearing and reappearing bricks leave him scrambling to keep his hold on the side of the wall.

On Side 3, Escalada is likewise climbing well when his ascent is interrupted by a flock of birds released from inside the Pyramid. The birds bump into and flutter around him in their dash to escape, distracting him and making it hard to see where to grip the wall.

On Side 4, Johnson is already near the top of the second level when a cascading gush of water gushes down from above, slamming into her and making the bricks slippery.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Zamastan » Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:52 pm

(If Successful) Jarrius feels the jolt of the wall retracting as he desperately holds on, peering down to the cushions below. He grunts aggressively to swing himself over to another hold, and in a spurt of adrenaline, jumps between the gap in the air. Extending his arm quickly, he grasps the next climbing hold, slamming his body into the wall. He recovers with a pant and continues his climb.

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Re: The Pyramid of Misfortune (contest RP)

Post by Libertas Omnium Maximus » Sat Aug 17, 2019 7:07 am

(If Successful) Martins realizes quickly that he is going to be knocked from the wall if he doesn't act now. Finding too bricks that had moved back into the wall, he uses these as foot-holes and leaps up onto two pushed out bricks. He then jumps off of them and scales the wall before the top bricks recede into the wall.

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