Shell No! Covert Corporations Have Got To Go

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Shell No! Covert Corporations Have Got To Go

Post by Gardavasque » Wed Oct 02, 2019 12:55 am

I'm hoping to submit my first NS issue and I'd appreciate some constructive feedback to help maximize my chances of getting it selected. Your feedback would be appreciated.

This topic builds upon issue #532 Desert Island Risks (Warning: potential spoiler:

Title: Shell No! Covert Corporations Have Got To Go!

Issue Summary
Legal battles continue over the “Manamana Memos,” a cache of leaked documents detailing how various world leaders used shell corporations in that tiny island nation to engage in all kinds of shady dealings. You return from a ribbon cutting ceremony at a kitten orphanage to discover your personal legal team waiting for you. They inform you that your regularly scheduled “Lunch with Mom” has been bumped due an urgent matter: you’re about to be implicated by court testimony linked to a shell corporation in Manamana.

Option 1
“No need to panic,” assures your lead personal attorney and fixer, Scott Free, as he slithers up next to you. “We can just draft a press release that the corporation was established for legit purposes to protect your personal trade secrets and intellectual property. If the press goes snooping around and asks for details, we can just reply coyly, ‘It’s a secret’ and leave it at that. By the way, if anyone asks how you learned so much about vat-grown meat, just smile politely and change the subject.”

Result: Political pundits on TV are taking bets on how long @@Leader@@ can keep playing the shell game with the public.

Option 2
“Um- Do you really think that will be enough?” chimes in Patsy McFall, your loyal Personal Accountant of several years. “I mean the people are really upset about corruption at the highest levels; they are tired of seeing bigwigs at the top constantly getting away with bad behavior. If your name comes out in court tomorrow, I guarantee the scandal won’t go away until some goes to jail or gets fired.”

Result: In recognition of her years of loyal service, Patsy has been quietly reassigned to a turkey farm on the outskirts of @@Capital City@@. You send a card, unsigned, that reads: Wishing all the best in this exciting new career opportunity.

Option 3
“It’s like you’re purposely trying to do everything besides fix the problem,” accuses your Deputy Minister of Justice, Gung Ho. “Look, in order to separate yourself from other ethically-compromised leaders already tainted by scandal, you need to extract your assets from shell corporations and pay any legal penalties. Then tell the legislature you will sign a law requiring transparent disclosure of the names of all officers of corporations and make all tax returns a matter of public record. Why not call the law the Shell Manipulation Anti-Corruption and Kleptocracy Act?

Result: Passing the SMACK Act is one of @@Leader@@’s signature accomplishments this year.

Option 4
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” exclaims your jilted mother, lurking from the hallway with hunger in her eyes. “I taught you better than that. You need to do what’s morally right. Apologize for anything you knew or should have known was wrong, and accept responsibility for your consequences. If the people accept you as their leader, you might still keep your job, but if not, well, I’ll still visit you in prison.” She sighs. “Now, how about I just heat up some soup for us, huh Dear?”

Result: Investigative reporters reveal the “sincere” apology delivered on live TV was actually authored by @@Leader@@’s mother.

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