Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary [DRAFT]

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Laeral
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:00 pm

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary [DRAFT]

Post by Laeral » Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:00 pm

This draft was simultaneously submitted in the 'Got Issues' forum on Nationstates: https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopi ... 3&t=429083

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary

The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia was your predecessor's personal masseuse and the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1a. (Option Validity: Capitalistic/Democratic Nations) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense.

1b. (Option Validity: Communist/Non-democratic Nations) "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks!" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first Party Secretary to endorse your candidacy, the arms dealer who provided us with such useful equipment, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful!"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friends are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades. "Over my 16 tours of duty in the Foreign Service, I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Every ambassador should have as much diplomatic experience as I do before being considered for the job."

Effect: Most ambassadors from @@NAME@@ retires only a few years after being appointed

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@." @@HE@@ pulls out a locket containing a small picture of @@HIS@@ beloved and a lock of @@HIS@@ hair, and gazes at it. "I lost the love of my life, @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ in the line of duty, valiantly fighting a rear-guard action against insurmountable enemies. Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Effect: News articles are full of heartwarming stories featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets.

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, your- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul.

<div class='spoiler_toggle'>First Draft</div><div class="spoiler" style="display:none;">The Issue
It has recently been discovered that your remarkably incompetent predecessor had filled numerous ambassadorial positions with under-qualified candidates in an attempt to reward @@HIS@@ followers and supporters. As a result, the ambassador to Wezeltonia is your predecessor's personal hairdresser, the ambassador to Brancaland is a shady crime lord with incriminating evidence against your predecessor, and the ambassador to Brancaland is the mysterious @@MAN@@ in Red who featured prominently in a sex scandal involving your predecessor. It's clear to many that @@NAME@@ could use a change in the ranks of its diplomats.

Validity: Nation has international relations.

1. "This is a splendid opportunity to put in our own, far superior, ambassador picks&#33;" says your Political Adviser, @@RANDOMNAME@@, gleefully. "It's obvious that we can't let those incompetents keep their positions any longer, so we sack them all and replace them with our own people. I've prepared a list for you to look at- we've got great, talented people like that first MP to endorse your candidacy, the @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ tycoon who donated millions to your campaign, and my younger brother. It'll be wonderful&#33;"

Effect: @@LEADER@@'s childhood friend is living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense.

2. "We need to abolish the entire system of ambassadors as political appointees." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who has worked in the Foreign Ministry for the past three decades. "I joined the Foreign Service as soon as I graduated college as the Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Public Relations at our embassy to East Lebatuck, and I've been serving our nation loyally ever since. I've been posted to hellholes like Brasilistan, Marche Noir, and Maxtopia for every one of my 16 tours of duty. And then I see some champagne-sipping flunky waltz on in to become the ambassador, despite having never worked a day in their life. Do I sound bitter? That's probably because I have every right to&#33;"

Effect: The typical ambassador from @@NAME@@ fought through a baptism of fire in order to get there.

3. @@RANDOMNAME@@, the sole survivor of the infamous Embassy Bombing in Marche Noir, limps into your office with a cane. "It's war out there, @@LEADER@@," @@HE@@ rasps in a broken voice. "The things I've seen, the horrible things I've had to do, the countless nights I've spent awake working on that free-trade agreement have left me a broken @@MAN@@." @@HE@@ pulls out a locket containing a small picture of his beloved and a lock of @@HIS@@ hair, and gazes at it. "I lost my @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ in the line of duty, valiantly fighting a rear-guard action against the tide of paperwork. Bring us home, @@LEADER@@, shutter our embassies abroad and bring us all home."

Effect: The internet is full of heartwarming videos featuring long-time diplomats reuniting with their families and pets.

4. "I spy an opportunity..." says your seldom-seen Minister of Whispers, who has somehow appeared besides you. "What our nation needs is for our ambassadors to be trained and equipped for- specialized operations - in foreign nations. Imagine our most elite black-ops agents, striking under cover of darkness to promote my- I mean, your- goals. Think about it. I know you'll make the right choice."

Effect: @@NATION@@'s ambassadors all have steel-gray eyes and an empty soul.</div>
Last edited by Laeral on Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bears Armed
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Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary [DRAFT]

Post by Bears Armed » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:42 am

I like it&#33; (especially the "bring us home" bit).
Took me a few minutes to identify the pun in the title as more than just a typo, but that's probably because my brain tends not to start running at full speed until after lunch...

:Bear:

Laeral
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:00 pm

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary [DRAFT]

Post by Laeral » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:36 pm

I received some feedback from [nation]Candlewhisper Archive[/nation] and I've updated the issue to match that. My second draft is now posted at top.

Laeral
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:00 pm

Ambassador In-extraordinary and Plenimpotentiary [DRAFT]

Post by Laeral » Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:43 am

Issue submitted.

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